Monday, July 27, 2009

Onion of the Day: Yu Wan Mei selling the Onion

There're some half- and near-truths in this excerpt. CEO Zuo Xiabing:

Disloyal Americans! You have aided these treasonous snakes in their plot against Yu Wan Mei. First you refuse to ingest our coagulated octopus paste at a fast enough rate, and now you hold a dagger to the throat of the printed word itself! Your obsession with personal liberty has been a burden on your nation's success for generations, and now you sit there like livestock as an entire industry falls to dust around you—the very industry upon which you construct your imaginary foundation of free speech!

Submission is deficient in this culture of indolence, where citizens would rather have the unmitigated thoughts of others poured into their heads by the Internet than read diligently the printed word, as decent people do.

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